TL;DR: The Mummy (2017) was Universal’s big-budget ($200M+) attempt to launch its “Dark Universe” starring Tom Cruise—and it spectacularly bombed. Despite flashy new logos, star-studded promo photos and lofty franchise ambitions, the movie fell flat in execution, turning into more of a behind-the-scenes circus than a blockbuster.
What makes it fun isn’t the film itself but the trainwreck around it: misguided marketing, overhyped slate reveals (hello, Javier Bardem and Johnny Depp masquerading as future monsters) and Universal’s desperate spin. It’s a garbage fire of cinematic ambition—and this review celebrates every smoldering, cringe-worthy moment.
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